"Tsunami", my friend Shelley replied. A single word to an email I'd forwarded her about Costco not having rice on the shelves.

We'd been corresponding that day - she in New Mexico, high in the mountains, settling her son into a farm internship and me in Maine, just enough above sea level to ride out the first round of global melt. We'd been corresponding about fertilizer, about putting together a big buy. Because fertilizer will be worth more than money soon.

It already is, I found out.

The UMaine Extension soil tests from Orono typically recommend fish meal or soybean meal for organic gardens. It's been in the result set for years, so one would think the meal were available.

"We've had several people ask for that today. Never heard of it before", the clerk at Paris Farmer's Union said. "I need to find out where to get it. Did you try Skillin's or Allen Sterling? O'Donnell's?"

"I'm heading up Skillin's way and will ask. How about some Sul-po-mag? That's usually in a clear plastic bag with the label written with a fat Sharpie."

"Yeah, I'll check.... Nope. We're out. How about in a week? Truck comes Friday."

"Set aside a couple of bags for me, thanks. Call me when it's in."

No one has any fertilizer in stock. They say it's supposed to arrive in a week or so. But planting - let alone garden prep - has begun.

The barrista at Coffee By Design is off to plant early corn this week in Cornish Maine. He liked my hat - my trademark black MOFGA cap. It contrasts well with my sunburned redneck. "This time of year," he said, "people are happy to have a sunburn."

In Tanzania, I thought, farmers would be happy to have enough money to plant corn.

I'll be doing a talk at Skillin's May 6 - how to save the planet with your garden - something aimed at busy moms and dads who want to put in a few vegetables. Mike says probably 15 people show up. I want to touch on building soil, feeding soil. The flow from healthy soil to healthy grass and healthy food. Dr Arden. Polyface Farm. Grass farming. Photosynthesis.

Skillin's never heard of soybean meal in the garden. Yes, they used to have fish meal. None in Cumberland, none in Brunswick, none in Falmouth, none in the greenhouses. Seems they stopped carrying it a couple of years back; too expensive.

"How about we call the Extension," Jeff asked? No answer; it's Patriots Day off and they are probably in their own gardens. We conclude that UMaine is recommending soil amendments that don't exist.

Patriot's Day. The politicians are wearing flag buttons. The cops are practicing for martial law. The Master Gardeners - Shelley, Kathleen and myself - we're flipping out over the crashing dollar, the crashing ice caps, not the price but the availability of fertilizer and soil amendments. The tsunami.

Hello Allen Sterling, I'm looking for fish meal - like UMaine soil test recommends.

"..."

"No, I don't want liquid fish emulsion. I've got sandy soil."

"You mean you don't want it running down to bedrock? Don't have fish meal or know anything about it. No soybean meal either. Maybe Ames?"

Shelley's wealthy clients in Biddeford Pool are asking her to put in vegetable gardens. Shelley wants to move into my barn and get a bovine.

"A cow?"

Just kidding. I think. Maybe not.

Fedco. I don't want to drive to Winslow. But they have cheap shipping on big buys within Maine. Can that be right? Fish meal is a Crown of Maine product?

Crown of Maine, Jim Cook says "Nope, we developed that product years back but now it's victim to the global protein deficiency. Can't get any of it. Not even for our farmers. The Maine Potato Lady might have some; she bought surplus last year. She keeps it in our warehouse and if you can get some from her, we have a truck going your way in a week or so." Left a message with the Potato Lady.

"I don't know how we're going to take care of our bigger farmers," Jim says.

Maine has its share of local heros and he is one of them. When the shit hits the fan, let's remember we need them, not the goons from Homeland Security. The goons - lets ride them across the border on a wooden horse. Because they will be in the way, making things worse. Send Baldacci with them: a governor that boasts of Maine Food in Maine Schools one day a year - his inaugural celebration sponsored by Hannaford's - their take-away being his help in the conversion of Maine's best agricultural land into parking lots.

Business as usual is the source of the crises in which we find ourselves. It can't be fixed by doing more or more more efficiently. That will only make the crises worse.

Soybean meal? I bought the last three bags at Ames. And they gave me a ripped one too - figured it was going into the ground so a little dirt in it would be fine. Thank you!

I didn't dare ask if it were genetically modified soy (GMO). It's going to be impossible to maintain organic certification in the coming crash. Kathleen told me later that the certified organic farm across the street from her uses large amounts of that Ames soy meal. Good.

The big buy is looking like a pallet of Sul-Po-Mag, a pallet of rock phosphate and a pallet of soybean meal.

It feels awful. What is the footprint of that purchase? How many acres of soybeans am I plowing into my soil? How much water, how much fossil energy, how much sunlight? According to the Living Planet Report, North America has a per capita ecological footprint of 20 global acres, more than four times the world average.

What have I done? Should I not buy it? Should I buy guns?

Tsunami.